Haha, of course. Normally if someone wanted to know about me I’d have them come torture a few people… see if they’re as fucked up as I am. [ She sighs. ] But I’m tired.
My dad used to beat me all the time when I was little. Then he went and got arrested for burglary, so my mom just turned around and started beating me like it was my fault.
My mom ran out on me one day after screaming about how much she hated my face… never figured out what the hell she meant, but I guess it doesn’t matter. My grandfather was forced to take me in after that, though, and he just did the same thing they did — but he’d at least hit me where no one would see.
[ I’m scared… I’m lonely…
Why did she ever agree to help a virtual doll who could feel everything she refused to say? ]
Just when I thought all those memories were wiped clean they come tumblin’ back. And then to make matters worse — you remember me talkin’ about that virtual world, yeah? Turns out that the easiest solution is just killing me.
I’ve been kicking and screaming my whole life, but it didn’t matter if I was a saint or a sinner. At this point I’m convinced that I was just born to die a painful death.
[She listens - not impassively, not at all, even if her expression only shifts into a slightly deeper frown throughout it all. When "Marie" finishes, Hot Pants is silent for a moment.]
You've been treated like trash your whole life, and then buried because that's what people thought you deserved. [She doesn't know computers. She doesn't know things like "deleted" or "purged" at all, but in her mind...the brainwashing she got, it was just to "erase" her in a sense, wasn't it? To make her play a perfect part.] Speaking as a sinner myself...even if people treated you like that, it doesn't mean that's what you are, or meant to be.
[She pauses for a moment.]
You...you just weren't given a chance. Nobody gave you that.
[She glances at the scattered cards, before walking over, taking a seat nearby, reaching for the cards to put them back in a pile.]
...I don't know. I find you more interesting than "Marie", if you want me to be honest. [A huff.] I think it's hypocritical to think that we should accept a rose but ignore its thorns.
Guess we're in the same boat of not interesting, then.
[She's shuffling the cards, now.]
As if they're all my friends. [(hot pants voice) I HAVE NO FRIENDS except Buzen since I admitted that] It's easy for people to make kneejerk first impressions. That's human nature. But its their folly for not digging deeper.
Or maybe they’d realize to think twice. Or think at all.
Some people are so full of themselves that they won’t even bother recognizing when they do something fucked up. I might be “crazy”, but I’m not gonna act like I’m an angel.
[ She hates these people but they also prove her point — everyone is fake! ]
I don't think anyone should act like an angel. There's some good people, here, but...
[Everyone has their flaws. Some more than others. (Except Meteion, she's perfect.)]
Regardless, attacking someone isn't going to do that much in the long run. If someone is hypocritical, I'd just call them out on it. If they don't shut up after that, then you could do something like punch them in the gut.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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You don't have to lie.
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It's an option. That's the truth. But it's hardly the only one.
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You wanna know something fucked up?
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Sure.
cw for domestic abuse
My dad used to beat me all the time when I was little. Then he went and got arrested for burglary, so my mom just turned around and started beating me like it was my fault.
My mom ran out on me one day after screaming about how much she hated my face… never figured out what the hell she meant, but I guess it doesn’t matter. My grandfather was forced to take me in after that, though, and he just did the same thing they did — but he’d at least hit me where no one would see.
[ I’m scared… I’m lonely…
Why did she ever agree to help a virtual doll who could feel everything she refused to say? ]
Just when I thought all those memories were wiped clean they come tumblin’ back. And then to make matters worse — you remember me talkin’ about that virtual world, yeah? Turns out that the easiest solution is just killing me.
I’ve been kicking and screaming my whole life, but it didn’t matter if I was a saint or a sinner. At this point I’m convinced that I was just born to die a painful death.
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You've been treated like trash your whole life, and then buried because that's what people thought you deserved. [She doesn't know computers. She doesn't know things like "deleted" or "purged" at all, but in her mind...the brainwashing she got, it was just to "erase" her in a sense, wasn't it? To make her play a perfect part.] Speaking as a sinner myself...even if people treated you like that, it doesn't mean that's what you are, or meant to be.
[She pauses for a moment.]
You...you just weren't given a chance. Nobody gave you that.
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[ She tosses the deck of cards onto the table, scattering them before leaning back in her seat. She releases a long sigh. ]
I feel stupid talking about it. Forget I said all that.
You all like Marie, right? I’ll give you a hint — until something “fun” comes around I’ll just sit back and watch, otherwise you guys can have her.
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...I don't know. I find you more interesting than "Marie", if you want me to be honest. [A huff.] I think it's hypocritical to think that we should accept a rose but ignore its thorns.
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[ Like it’s a legitimate thing she tells the protag it’s so funny. ]
Well that’s all they wanna do. Your friends, I mean.
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[She's shuffling the cards, now.]
As if they're all my friends. [(hot pants voice) I HAVE NO FRIENDS except Buzen since I admitted that] It's easy for people to make kneejerk first impressions. That's human nature. But its their folly for not digging deeper.
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[ She’s always there… listening. ]
It’s whatever. I just hate all the people who are acting all superior and holier-than-thou — I’d kill ‘em.
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[And that makes her let out a little scoff.]
You'd just prove their point if you did, though.
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Some people are so full of themselves that they won’t even bother recognizing when they do something fucked up. I might be “crazy”, but I’m not gonna act like I’m an angel.
[ She hates these people but they also prove her point — everyone is fake! ]
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[Everyone has their flaws. Some more than others. (Except Meteion, she's perfect.)]
Regardless, attacking someone isn't going to do that much in the long run. If someone is hypocritical, I'd just call them out on it. If they don't shut up after that, then you could do something like punch them in the gut.
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No. I'll punch them for you if they keep pressing their luck. I'll take the heat.
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Better yet, wanna make a little pact?
All I want is for you to make sure that the little miss doctor doesn’t touch my body if someone decides to kill me or whatever.
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Doctor Su? Why?
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She just reminds me of the bastards back home who just rip my IV out like it’s nothing.
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[There are some questions she has, but she's not the type to pry too deeply, so she nods.]
I'll make sure she won't touch you. Guess the same goes for Chang Geng?
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[ when you don’t have snow cr… bro ]
Yeah. Add him to the list.
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Okay. Sure. [A nod.] Him too.
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[ As quietly as humanly possible: ] Thanks.
[ She then sinks lower into her seat before springing up on her speak. ]
I’m gonna go get an energy drink from the virgin dorm. [ BYE ]
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[???]
[But!! Okay!!! YOU GO GET YOUR. VIRGIN DORM ENERGY DRINK]