There’s no way I’m letting any of you in there. It’s fucked. If you’re not conscious enough you could end up brainwashed, and then there’s the possibility that just listening to songs by the new Musicians might fuck with you, too.
If that happens you might break from the inside out.
[ She’s about to say it’s fine? It’s whatever? Shit happens? This is kinda what she deserves, anyway?
She freezes, her body tense before it relaxes; affection had always been like a blade hidden behind the soft pretense of safety. Her mother would come to hold her in her arms and only resume her abuse quickly after — it skewed her perspective of it completely.
But time spent here has helped. She’s adapted, realized that not everyone here is looking to harm her. It’s still a bit unfamiliar, bit scary, but she allows it soon enough. Being held isn’t so bad, especially when there’s the possibility that it may be the last time she’ll be embraced in a life that so feverishly hated her. ]
[It's not her fault. It's not her fault at all. Wicked told her what she'd been through, and it makes her heart hurt all the more, to think that she'll return, and there might not be a happy ending.]
[It's unfair.]
[It's so unfair.]
[She doesn't let go.]
You deserve to be happy. I want nothing more than that for you.
There's the immediate self-deprecating feeling when opening up -- due to the execution, due to all of Marie opening up to the rest of them, everyone knows of her life. And yet she hardly feels like she knows the people around her.
But, like many, Hot Pants is kind. She's caring. She's patient, and despite everything she has done she still holds her. ]
... I'll find a way.
Like I always do, I'll find a way to survive. [ Is she saying this for Hot Pants' sake or her own? ]
[Sometimes, that's all you can do. You have to fight. You have to keep fighting, no matter what.]
I want to see you again. But don't do it just for me. Don't do it for anyone else, Crow, or Damien. Above all...fight for yourself, and get out of that place. I wish that for you, okay?
[ Damn this is so fucked with her other half fucking gone! For whatever reason!
She really ruined the life of the piece of her that's the most hopeful. However, the best part of having pretended to be someone else your entire life is that she can at least... sound convincing. ]
Yeah. I got you. And I'd be fuckin' embarrassed if I worked my ass off just for a couple of dudes, so there's no need to worry.
I wanted to hurt people for a long, long time... thinkin' it'd make me feel better, thinkin' that it'd keep me safe. But I've come to realize, with a couple of you guys, people from home, and her, that I'm so fuckin'... tired... living so angry.
So I'm ready to move on. I just hope I can really push through.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
She shakes her head. ]
There’s no way I’m letting any of you in there. It’s fucked. If you’re not conscious enough you could end up brainwashed, and then there’s the possibility that just listening to songs by the new Musicians might fuck with you, too.
If that happens you might break from the inside out.
no subject
[She takes that all in, pensive.]
So...there's no guarantee that any of us might see you again?
no subject
… Sorry.
no subject
[She's standing up...and then walking over to pull her into a hug.]
cw: domestic abuse
[ She’s about to say it’s fine? It’s whatever? Shit happens? This is kinda what she deserves, anyway?
She freezes, her body tense before it relaxes; affection had always been like a blade hidden behind the soft pretense of safety. Her mother would come to hold her in her arms and only resume her abuse quickly after — it skewed her perspective of it completely.
But time spent here has helped. She’s adapted, realized that not everyone here is looking to harm her. It’s still a bit unfamiliar, bit scary, but she allows it soon enough. Being held isn’t so bad, especially when there’s the possibility that it may be the last time she’ll be embraced in a life that so feverishly hated her. ]
… Sorry. I’m really sorry.
[ She wraps her arms around her loosely. ]
no subject
[It's not her fault. It's not her fault at all. Wicked told her what she'd been through, and it makes her heart hurt all the more, to think that she'll return, and there might not be a happy ending.]
[It's unfair.]
[It's so unfair.]
[She doesn't let go.]
You deserve to be happy. I want nothing more than that for you.
no subject
There's the immediate self-deprecating feeling when opening up -- due to the execution, due to all of Marie opening up to the rest of them, everyone knows of her life. And yet she hardly feels like she knows the people around her.
But, like many, Hot Pants is kind. She's caring. She's patient, and despite everything she has done she still holds her. ]
... I'll find a way.
Like I always do, I'll find a way to survive. [ Is she saying this for Hot Pants' sake or her own? ]
no subject
[Sometimes, that's all you can do. You have to fight. You have to keep fighting, no matter what.]
I want to see you again. But don't do it just for me. Don't do it for anyone else, Crow, or Damien. Above all...fight for yourself, and get out of that place. I wish that for you, okay?
no subject
She really ruined the life of the piece of her that's the most hopeful. However, the best part of having pretended to be someone else your entire life is that she can at least... sound convincing. ]
Yeah. I got you. And I'd be fuckin' embarrassed if I worked my ass off just for a couple of dudes, so there's no need to worry.
I wanted to hurt people for a long, long time... thinkin' it'd make me feel better, thinkin' that it'd keep me safe. But I've come to realize, with a couple of you guys, people from home, and her, that I'm so fuckin'... tired... living so angry.
So I'm ready to move on. I just hope I can really push through.